Smile Like You Mean It
by droogish
Summary: Set around S8's 'End Game'. It's incredibly angsty. Character death.


**Pairing: **Boyd/Grace

**A/N: **I can't begin to emphasise how much this _isn't_ a happy story. Seriously. It's incredibly angsty. It's inspired by Frank Turner's brilliant song 'Long Live The Queen', which I strongly suggest you listen to whilst reading. Characters belong to the BBC, I own nothing. This is my second WtD fic, so all feedback is appreciated. Enjoy, & keep the tissues handy xo

*

The next few days are a whirlwind of kindly faced doctors, intimidating medical documents and draining test after test. She doesn't bother telling any of the team, especially not Boyd; telling them makes it real.

-

Eve finds her asleep on her desk. It's not the first time she's fallen asleep at work, but Eve takes one look at her and she knows something's up.

Saying the words "I have cancer" startles both of them. For Grace, it's the sudden realisation that she really is _this_ ill. For Eve, it's the shock of hearing those three words tumble casually from Grace's mouth.

"What..."

Her voice trails off; the awkwardness is palpable. Eve stares at her lap, her hands fiddling for her cigarette papers. Grace raises an eyebrow and Eve blushes.

"I can't tell them, Eve"

"Not even Boyd?"

"It'll only distract him. Especially with Linda Cummings reappearing"

Eve looks at Grace for a long moment, but says nothing.

"I won't say anything"

"Thank you"

They spend the rest of the evening debating psychology vs forensics, and Grace wakes up happier than she has done in a long time.

-

She can't deny that it hurts when she leaves and Boyd barely gives her a second glance. Once again, the thought flashes through her mind that this might be the last time she sees him, and that she should finally tell him, but then she talks herself out of it.

She's already in enough pain. There's no point adding to it.

-

The first day in the hospital is fine, until Eve comes to see her, and then she breaks down. She asks how the team are, Eve asks how she is, and she cries until she physically can't.

Eve leaves her some flowers and some psychology journals, with the note "you win" tacked to the front. She laughs for the first time in weeks.

-

Boyd turns up when she's at her weakest. It's awkward to say the least; she doesn't want him to see her like this, he doesn't know how to react to her and she's tired and cold and she feels oh-so-very-old.

She opens the conversation the only way she knows how.

"Boyd, i've been thinking about the case"

-

She feels as though their relationship can be seperated into two parts; before Linda and after Linda.

After Linda, he's a lot more attentive. Nearly losing her makes him realise how much he needs her. It makes her realise how short life is.

Eventually, she tells him to go home. She doesn't do it maliciously; she just needs time to herself.

-

She's tired. It's not working; that much is obvious. Whatever it was spread too fast, too violently. Linda accelerated it, adding yet another victim to her mass graveyard.

Boyd shouts and curses until he has no more breath left. It's infuriating, and it's tiring, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She accepted him long ago, faults and all, and she never expected him to act any differently. The only thing she regrets is not working him out sooner. She never allowed herself to get involved with him. now she has nothing to lose.

Spence refuses to communicate with Boyd, preferring instead to immerse himself in his work. He still comes to see her, every day if he can, but he know it hurts her to see him blank Boyd out of his life. She's always hated conflict, especially between him and Boyd.

Kat passes through every once in a while. She's friendly and open and she puts a smile on Grace's face. It hurts her to see Grace like this, hurts her to see the one person who made her feel welcome in so much pain, but she puts her own feelings to one side, and contents herself with being _there_ for Grace.

Eve remains quiet, constantly by Grace's bedside. Sometimes they cry; other times they just talk. They talk about Stella, and Mel, and death, and Grace finally accepts it. She's dying. Nothing she can do will change that.

-

The day she dies starts like any other day.

She doesn't feel any worse; just an overwhelming sense of peace. There's no family to come say goodbye; she never had children, never re-married. She has Spence, and Eve, and Boyd.

They're with her till the very end. It's the first time she's ever heard Boyd say "I love you", and all she can do is smile.

The last thing she remembers is the feel of his lips on hers, and then everything slowly fades away.

_you'll live to dance another day,  
it's just not you'll have to dance, for the two of us  
so stop looking so damn depressed, and sing with all your heart  
that the Queen is dead_


End file.
